12 Weeks

Dear Lil Boop,

Today marks the first day of 12 weeks, which makes you the size of a plum! We get to see you this Wednesday and I am so excited. I also go that day to get my echo (not so exciting).

This past Saturday we went to the Nelson wedding. It was outdoors and absolutely gorgeous. There were kegs and homemade wine - that was apparently very delicious! I sampled the lemonade and punch and tore into the fruit table. It was so nice sitting outside in the crisp fall air visiting with friends. They had white christmas lights and tulle for decoration and they let off a soft atmosphere into the night.There was dancing and drinking and everyone had a great time.

On Sunday we rode the motorcycle to Hermann, MO and met up with Colton & Jessica and Tammy & Kerry at Simon's Restaurant. From there we went to the Stone Hill Winery and took the tour. It was absolutely gorgeous, I couldn't believe the views. If I was to go back in time and re-plan my wedding, it would be there in the fall. Stunning!

After the tour, they let you taste all the wines that they make. AJ opted out so I wouldn't be alone (I tried to talk him into tasting wine!) and we sampled the 3 different juices they make - which were actually pretty yummy, but I will have to go back to the winery when I am NOT pregnant! :)

It just exudes romance!

Gorgeous Views

Sparkling Raspberry Juice!

Colton, Jessica, Kerry, and Tammy Enjoying Some Wine

We had some cheesecake at the Stonehill Restaurant and then headed out. Colton and Jessica were on Kerry's Shadow and AJ and I were on the Warrior. It was a cooler ride home. We stopped in Mokane to say our goodbyes.

The Jessica's

We got back later than we would have liked. I crashed into bed around 10 PM and I don't think AJ was that long after me. I woke up with the same headache I have had since last Thursday. It gets weaker and stronger, but it has been there for days. I got my weekly email from The Bump and it said that the nausea and fatigue would finally pass as I am approaching the SECOND TRIMESTER this coming week, but I would welcome dizziness and headaches. I'd say they are pretty much right on! I felt like I was going to pass out at the end of my first case today, and I'm still rockin' the headache although it seems to be in a little bit of remission at the moment. (Don't jinx it!)

In the mornings I still have to sit on the seat in the shower like an old woman so I don't pass out or get sick. I get so dizzy and feel so weak. Every morning I want to call in and then tell myself that this isn't the worst of it, to buck up and go make some money. I drag myself to work, get setup in my room, and force-feed myself some cereal. It makes me want to puke some mornings but I know I won't survive til lunch if I don't eat.

I pee in between every case and sometimes during a case I feel like I'm going to explode if they don't send me on break or lunch soon. When I have to go grab something I am always in a rush and I can feel my temples pounding with every step I take. When I don't get lunch until after 1 PM I feel so sick that I don't even want to eat, I want to just go home and lay down. My emotions are hit or miss, I'm either a high or a low, either happy or sad, either on my game or completely missing the point.

I've been extra sensitive lately. I force myself to re-interpret what was just said to me so that I don't burst into tears or go off. I try to tell myself that no one is that callous that they would try to hurt me intentionally. When I am reading in too deep of people's actions (or lack thereof), I try to tell myself to stop it, that it is just the hormones, and that people aren't really making the effort to make my pregnancy out to be an inconvenience for them.

When I wonder why certain people I thought would be excited for me and AJ turned out not to be (especially after knowing what happened to us in June), I tell myself that maybe they don't belong in our lives. Some people tell me how much of an inconvenient time it is, tell me they wouldn't trade shoes with me and AJ, or simply ignore our pregnancy completely, and it hurts my feelings -- I shouldn't let it. But I DO want to scream: "Why are you being SUCH an asshole?!" I am learning whose opinion matters, and who is not even worth it. I attribute some of it to jealousy (which I cannot understand --AJ and I are both humble/modest people) and some of it to selfishness.

And I attribute it a lot to the hormones ;)

This is all I need...