The past couple days have been absolutely gorgeous outside, but last night a storm began and today it is overcast and rainy. It's supposed to be stormy the next couple days. I don't mind the rain, lightning, and thunder. I have always loved watching and listening to a good storm. Especially now when it makes me feel like it gives us good reason to stay in our house on our little bubble.
You slept really well last night. We actually hit our goal of getting in bed around 10 PM. Huzzah! You woke up at twice last night: midnight and at 3:30 AM. Once I got you settled back in your bassinet I sat outside on the deck for a moment and watched the rain and lightning. It's so comforting and still somehow lonely.
You woke again at 6:30 AM and I pulled you into bed and onto my breast and you gave me another couple hours of sleep. I know I said I was going to stop breastfeeding you, because at this point I'm sure I'm causing confusion, but at this point if latching you onto my ta-ta will get me 2 glorious extra hours of sleep I'm going to do it. Plus it's really cozy being all curled up with you in the early AM hours!
Things are getting easier, I'm not in the zombie-tearful-sloth mode I was in couple days ago where I felt like I could not give one more bottle or pump one more session or check for one more poopie. Thank God that passed. I googled "Postpartum Depression" that day and the thought made me cry so I stopped. I think it was lack of sleep, mixed in with worrying about daycare, going back to work, and worrying about Biscuit and your daddy. Did I eat? Are you hungry again or just want to suck? Why does AJ look so happy asleep!?
Not gonna lie baby, you've rocked the house. And anyone that acts like a newborn is easy-peasy-puddin-and-pie is full of shit. Is it worth it? Absolutely. Is it hard sometimes? Hell yes.
I'm allowing people to help me more and giving up the Super-Mom facade. I'm handing you to visitors and letting them check for poopies and give bottles and burp you and hold you. I'm trying not to be superwoman anymore. And I started spacing my pumping out every 4 hours instead of every 3 and I feel more sane.
I gave you a bath the other night and you really didn't mind it! I thought it would help put you to sleep for the night. On the contrary, you were WIDE AWAKE!
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| Look at those cheeks! |
I love it though. You were staring at me and smiling and just making your little coo-coo sounds like you were just the happiest baby ever.
Speaking of sounds, you love to grunt at night while you are asleep. A google search later says that this is normal and you will grow out of it, but damn baby. I had to take your bassinet into the living room the other night to let your daddy get some sleep. I couldn't believe you were asleep and I still had to take you out of the room for being so loud! Noisy thing!
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| Who, ME? |
You make me laugh on the daily. I think you are going to be a silly boy like your daddy....
You both make me smile and laugh.
Love,
Momma
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