Dear Baby Wyatt...

Dear Wyatt,

It's been over a week since I have written and I am so very sorry for that, but any "free time" I have AKA "time Wyatt is sleeping" I spend trying to sleep myself or staring at you like I'm going to miss something. Let's just say having a newborn is hard work! But I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I? The last place we left off was right before your daddy and I were heading to Labor and Delivery. So let's catch back up...

Last Moments At Home
Sunday March 4, 2012

4:20 PM

Like my previous post said, AJ and I spent Sunday pacing around, trying to keep busy because of our nerves. We took Biscuit for a walk down by the neighborhood lake, we ate Jimmy Johns (AJ ordered a different sandwich than usual and told them to hold the tomatoes instead of giving them to me - he obviously wasn't thinking clearly!), I packed and unpacked and repacked my bag for the hospital. AJ sewed up a hole in the new robe I bought just for the hospital (he can sew - he was raised by women, and I cannot even sew on a button!).

As the time grew closer, things got more antsy, and finally the time came to leave and we did one last walk-through of the house and nursery. I snapped a couple shots of us and one of Biscuit - our last pics of our little family before your arrival.

Labor and Delivery
March 4, 2012 - March 5, 2012

5:00 PM
Once we got to the hospital I was immediately comfortable on my own stomping grounds. AJ and I checked into L&D and they had us go into a birthing suite and had me change into a patient gown. (It's so weird to put those on when you are a nurse, by the way!) The nurse came in and checked me in. Due to me coming a couple weeks earlier for the hypertension, they had a lot of my information already so they didn't have to go through the whole rigmarole. They put the monitors on me again - one to monitor your heart rate and one to monitor my contractions. The nurse had to try 3 times to get an IV on me (my veins look great but they roll), she was wanting to get one in my lower arm to stay out of the way but ultimately had to go with the top of my left hand (bummer).

6:00 PM

At 6:00 she came in to put in the Cervidil. Instead of putting it on my cervix it felt like she put it on the back of my tonsils! She told me to try not to get up for a couple hours to let it "stick" and I asked if I would be able to get up and walk around after a couple hours and she told me no because nothing holds the Cervidil in and it could fall out easily.

So I stayed in bed for a couple hours and got up to go pee because not peeing in a couple hours is a feat in itself for a pregnant woman. Momma T showed up that night to stay with me for a while so AJ could go home to check on Biscuit. Shrek 2 was on TV followed by Shrek the Third so I watched those because the Shrek movies are like my favorite movies of all time! Don't worry, I have them all on Blu-Ray.

Dolly came to visit me before she started her night shift. Dolly was my main mentor when I became a nurse. I worked nights and she took me under her wing and trained me to the best of her ability. It was great to see her and it calmed me a lot. She dropped off some gifts for you and gave me reassurance that everything was going to be okay.

I noticed I started getting uncomfortable during Shrek the Third. The contractions seemed to start coming more often and a little stronger, but I figured it was the Cervidil going to work. Momma T left around 9 o'clock and said she would be back in the morning. AJ and I got ready for bed and watched a little more TV and did a little more talking before finally shutting everything down and trying to get some sleep.

I had a lot of trouble falling asleep because I am a side-sleeper and every time I would try to roll on my side the monitors would move and someone would have to come in and adjust the straps, or I would try to fix the problem myself, and then I would have everything back on correctly and then have to pee.

1:30 AM-ish

Around 1:30 AM, not too long after I'd finally fallen asleep, a girl came in to adjust my straps for the monitors and woke me up. After I was awake I realized how uncomfortable I was. I got up and went to the bathroom and thought to myself, OMG I have got to poop or I'm gonna die!

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to, but that didn't stop me from getting up and down every 5 minutes trying to do so. I was cramping so bad it felt like I needed to shit out a pine cone! And I would have been glad to do it!

Finally I was up and down so much that I sat on the side of the bed and just pouted. This Cervidil needs to come out...There was no way I was going to try to lie back down. The tech or nurse came back in because all the ups and downs to the pooper had knocked me off the monitors again. Stupid effing monitors! Why isn't there a better way to do this?!

As she was hooking me back up I told her I was sorry I knocked off again but I couldn't get comfortable.

"Is it the bed?" she asked me.

"No, it feels like I'm really constipated and cramping really bad, " I told her.

"Maybe you are starting to have contractions."

Ya think?! Isn't that what that stupid monitor is on me for?! (I realize now that I was so irritated because I was, in fact, about to break water)

She asked me if I wanted a Birthing Ball and I told her I was willing to try it. She brought back a big yellow ball and put a chux pad on it and let me sit down. Then I leaned my upper body on my bed and she covered me up with warm blankets. She let me be.

2:15 AM

I ended up bouncing and rolling my hips around on that ball for about 15 minutes before I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to tell them I was getting up and I was going to have to start walking the hallways or they were going to have to take the Cervidil out.

I stood up and I peed on myself and all over my feet and the floor.

At least at first I thought I did. Then I realized that I couldn't stop it and it just kept coming and coming.

"AJ?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I peed myself or my water just broke."

"Okay. So now what?"

"I guess I call them"

So I pushed my call light and a woman answered and asked me what I needed and I replied, "I made a mess all over the floor." Because at that point I still wasn't sure what I had done.

Lights came on and towels were thrown on the floor and it got really busy in my room. My water had broken! They had me sit down in the bed because my nurse, Jen, told me she wanted to check me and to take out the Cervidil. I was at 3 cm and she asked if I wanted an epidural. I told her yes, but then asked her if I should wait (do other women get an epidural at a 3? Or am I a wuss?), she said it was up to me that she was going to call Dr. M, the on-call OB/GYN to get the order and I could have the epidural whenever I wanted.

She was charting and I was looking at AJ like I couldn't believe I had actually broken water when the contractions started getting intense. I told her to go ahead and get the epidural thing going.

I'm glad I did!

They had to get 1 liter of normal saline in me before Dr. G, the anesthesiologist on-call for OB, could come put in the epidural. Thank God I asked for the epidural when I did because it took FOREVER for that liter to go in.

Maybe it felt like forever because my contractions were out of control. I was in the bed rails, grabbing onto them and pulling myself into them when the contraction would hit. I finally asked Jen if I could stand up and she told me I could.

AJ stood with me and was to monitor the IV bag and call Jen when it got to a certain level. When a contraction hit, all I wanted to do was squat down on the floor and lay an egg. Seriously, I was squatting on the floor of the birthing suite trying to take a dump on the floor. Go ahead, I know you are picturing it. This happened over and over again, and the contractions were getting worse and worse. I kept looking at the IV hag wondering where did this black magic come from? This unending liter of normal saline!? I HATE YOU, YOU STUPID F***ING BAG OF SALINE!

Finally it got to about 100 cc left and I had AJ call Jen and she came in to verify and said she was going to call Dr. G to come on up.

For some reason having those contractions made time stand still and everything and everyone take forever. It was like having a full body earthquake. My back was hurting the worst (yay back labor!) and I still felt like I wanted to poop more than anything (I was later told this was due to the pressure little baby was putting on my rectum! Nice!). I was bending over the bed, still wanting to lay a golden egg on the floor, and just letting everything hang out. Thank God AJ was there to keep my gown on me because my Give-A-Shit meter about my own decency was at a 0.

AJ was great, rubbing my back and standing by me trying to keep my ass covered. At one point I was having a contraction and this happened:

"Just talk to me!"

"About what?"

"You suck at this!"

"I know!"

4:15 AM

Dr. G came in and I thought I would cry I was so happy to have her there. She tried to talk to me a little bit but I couldn't form a conversation.

They sat me on the edge of the bed and everyone took their places. Dr. G was behind me, Jen was in front of me, and AJ was to my right and holding my hand (I had no idea where he was at the time - he told me this later when I asked him where he was during the epidural!). Dr. G cleaned off my back and let me get through one more contraction before she started.

They told me if I was to have a contraction while she was placing the epidural that I was NOT to move, to scream as loud as I wanted to but NOT to move. I figured it was a fairly quick procedure and I would only have to get through one contraction - haha, I was wrong. Apparently I was really swollen still and Dr. G had trouble getting in on me, so I had to make it through 2 Earth-shattering contractions in which I sat there and put my head on Jen's shoulder and scream-cried into it wanting someone to just kill me.

When Dr. G got the epidural in I was told to lie on my side, but I still was having bad contractions because it takes a minute for it to really kick in. I have no idea what was going on at that point, all I could do was keep my eyes squeezed shut and pray for the epidural to kick in. They kept asking me questions about if it was getting better or staying the same.

I remember telling them I just wanted it to go away and I was surprised that I was still feeling anything at all. I told them it was staying the same and that I still felt like I needed to just poop. Jen told me to tell her if things were changing and to try not to push because I wasn't "complete" at 10 cm yet.

I was a 6. I asked Jen what time Dr. W came on shift and she told me 8:00. I asked her if she thought Dr. W would be delivering my baby. She said, "Honestly, no. But Dr. M is on-call and you know her, right?" I did. And it was fine. Because at that point I didn't care if Santa Claus delivered my baby.

Jen told me she would be back soon to put in a catheter.

I told AJ to call his mom and I got on the phone and called my grandma to go wake my mom up and come on up there. Everyone was surprised.

I continued to lie there on my side trying to poop myself in the bed. Seriously. Before labor, you worry as a pregnant woman about pooping on the doctor. While you are in labor, you try to poop the bed. That's how much you don't care. The longer I laid there though, the better the contractions felt. I could still feel them but they were tolerable. I felt numbness in my legs and warmth.

I must have told AJ that things had changed because he called Jen back and they started putting me up in stirrups. They decided there was no time for an indwelling catheter, so they did a quick in-and-out.

5:00 AM
My room was a-flurry of nurses and techs and God knows who else. AJ stood on my right and still hadn't said a word since before the epidural. He was speechless, we hadn't expected any of this fast-and-furious delivery to happen.

I was up in stirrups and I couldn't feel my legs and they taught me real quick how to breathe and when to start bearing down. They told me they could tell you had a little bit of hair, Wyatt. A little bit? I had heartburn so bad I threw up! He better have a fro. Another contraction was starting and they had me breathe in and out really slowly, then breathe in quickly and bear down and push for 10 seconds, then breathe out and back in quickly for another 10, then another 10.

I'm pushing!!!???

This process happened over and over again. I was having trouble holding my breath for 10 seconds after the first set. I saw Dr. M show up and thought we must be close! Nope, not yet. She left and I thought where the hell did she go!? In fact, I thought a lot of things while I was pushing, such as:

Natural childbirth?! How do those bitches do it?

That Duggar woman is crazy. Who would do this more than once!?

ONE AND DONE! ONE AND DONE!

I was getting weaker and more desperate. I asked how much longer, they had no idea. I was having more and more trouble holding my breath for 10 seconds, then after one of my sets of 3 10's one of the nurses had the audacity to ask me to push for 5 more. The NERVE! I only did it for her once and acted like I couldn't hear her after that.

I remember looking over at AJ, I held his hand, and I felt better knowing he was beside me. They let me know that my mom and grandma and Momma T had shown up, and I let them know that I didn't want anyone in the room because I was in a bad way.

They finally told me that since I wasn't able to hold my breath and bear down for the full 10 that I was losing progress, so I made my mind up that I was going to give them all I had because the better I pushed the less I would have to and the sooner it would be over. They told me to grab the backs of my legs and to push that way, so I did, and I liked that better because I was making better progress.

Dr. M came back in and that's when things started getting fuzzy. Maybe it was the breath-holding making me loopy, or the pain, I have no idea. I saw her put on a gown and some gloves and sit down near my crotch. She told me to push for 10 and I told her I couldn't, so she told me to give her good 5's.

I gave her the best 5's I could come up with and she told me to stop, but I couldn't. My world turned black and blue and purple and there was no stopping it.

5:30 AM
At 5:30 AM, this is what happened:

Wyatt J

March 5, 2012

5:30 AM

7.58 pounds

21 inches long

You came into the world and they placed you on my abdomen while your daddy cut the cord. Once they got you cleaned off a bit they put you to my chest, and I laughed and cried and loved you. My heart had exploded. Right then and there I fell in love with you. True love. And right then and there I would lay down my life for you.

  

They took you to the warmer and I listened to you cry and exclaimed, "That is music to my ears!" They measured you and weighed you while Dr. M stitched me up. Your daddy followed you from the warmer to the scale, snapping pictures on my phone and camera.

They let Momma T, my mom, and grandma come in and everyone just oohed and ahhed over you. Kari, whose voice you have been listening to in the OR for weeks now, came to visit you as well. Dr. W, my OB/GYN, came in and took you from my mom and looked you over and we laughed over the whole situation! She said next time no Cervidil for me! I asked her if the Cervidil usually caused someone's water to break and she said only if your body was really ready for labor. So baby, you were coming sooner than we thought.

We got to love on you for a couple hours before the pediatrician, Dr. W showed up and they whisked you away to the nursery. Dr. W checked you out down in the nursery and came back up and told us everything looked great and that he would come back the next day for the circumcision (sorry baby, but you won't remember a thing!).

After that, they told us they would be running some tests and drawing labs and giving you a bath down in the nursery, so everyone left and AJ and I rested until it was time to go to postpartum. Dolly came back to see how things went and helped the nurse take me to the bathroom for the first time (I almost passed out - was definitely taken aback at how dizzy I was. I was soaked in sweat and lossed my hearing and had tunnel vision, so they got me to the bathroom and back to bed as fast as they could).

Around 11:00 they sent me down to postpartum.

To be continued...

Love,

MOMMY :)